Easy Way to Contribute to Marriage Equality New York

A donor has agreed to give $1 for every New Yorker that subscribes to the MENY newsletter between NOW and December 31st (up to a maximum of $5,000). This is a great way of raising necessary funds for Marriage Equality while also building our grassroots efforts in New York State.
So, what can you do?

1) Check over your subscription by following the link at the bottom of this email.
2) Send this link (and fundraising explanation) to all your friends, family and neighbors and ask them to subscribe using the link below.

Act Now, today is the last day of this offer.

http://www.marriageequalityny.org/subscribe.html

Single Men Choosing Surrogacy

Here is an interesting article from CNN on single men choosing to become fathers through surrogacy:

Jeff Walker says from as far back as he can remember, he always wanted to be a father.

“It was always something I knew, from the time I was a child.” Just like his 3-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, who says she wants to be a mommy someday, Jeff says, “I knew I wanted to be a daddy.”

Walker, a Manhattan music executive, says he and his partner had talked about adopting a baby years ago. But after three emotionally draining, failed attempts at adoption, they decided to turn to surrogacy. They contacted Circle Surrogacy, a Boston agency that specializes in gay clients. Their child was conceived with a donor egg, and then the embryo implanted in the surrogate, or carrier.

Read More

The Spotlight: Proud Parenting

For this week’s Spotlight let’s visit Proud Parenting.  Proud Parenting is The Gay Parenting Network, a social networking site for the GLBT parenting community.

There is a full range of social networking functions like; friends, profiles, photo posts, and a guestbook that will be familiar to anyone that uses social networking sites.  Yet it’s easy enough for anyone new to join.  I see new faces everytime I stop by and there are plenty of opportunities to make friends.

On the front page there are current news stories posted of interest to the GLBT parenting community, including a picture of Ricky Martin holding his twin boys.   The front page also has a list of parents topics that link to related posts.  The topics include things like Adoption and Travel & Vacations.

We have a Green Dads profile at Proud Parenting, come on over and visit us.

People of Faith, Standing on the Side of Love

A video produced by the Unitarian Universalist Church following the Proposition 8 decision in California.
We are members of the First Unitarian Universalist Society of Albany.

Music: Don’t Tell Me Who To Love

Check out the latest single by Ray Boltz called Don’t Tell Me Who To Love that I read about at The Bilerico Project. Video produced by Soulforce.

The Spotlight: OUT Adventures Launches GLBT Family Tours

For this week’s Spotlight we’d like to pass on some information that I found via Mombian.

Canadian based OUT Adventures, Inc. announces 8 family trips specifically planned for GLBT parents with children over the age of 6.  The trips will go to places like Thailand, Vietnam, India, China, South Africa, Spain and Italy and will allow only 14 passengers per departure.

Here is some more information from their press release:

“We recognized that LGBT parents are very interested in introducing their children to new cultures around the world,” says Co-Founder Robert Sharp.

Robert’s partner and Co-Founder Steven Larkin adds “As well, we really wanted to offer gay and lesbian parents affordable travel options outside of traditional resort or cruise packages.”

OUT Adventures will operate 14 Family departures closed to LGBT parents. Trips are tailored to meet the needs of families with children and begin at $1015 USD for a 14 day trip to Thailand including a visit to an Elephant conservation park. All trips will have a strong focus on responsible travel by using locally owned hotels, restaurants and also interaction with local communities, both LGBT and mainstream.

The company is also leading this niche market by operating in a manner that contributes to the well being of the planet – from using green power in the OUT Adventures head office to including carbon emission off-setting in the cost of approximately 15% of its trips in its first year and in all trips by 2010.

These sound like great adventures to us, I’ve always wanted to go to Africa, and we really appreciate efforts to make travel greener and more sustainable.  We went on an RFamily Cruise in February of 2007 and had a wonderful time.  We’d do the cruise again but they only seem to be offering summer cruises now and we’re firmly committed to Family Week during the summer.  Two trips in the summer isn’t going to work for us.  We’ve been hoping to find some other GLBT family friendly trips. Of course we’ll have to wait another year for D to be at least 6 and save some money for it but we’re definitely going to keep our eye on these trips.  Visit OUT Adventures to learn more.

If you have a blog, website, event or cause you’d like to see or promote in The Spotlight please send us an email.

Vince’s View: No Rest For The Queery

Our good friend Vince writes a monthly article called Vince’s View that is posted on the Pride and Joy Families website.  This months article is called No Rest For The Queery, where Vince discusses his thoughts on the recent election and ballot measures.  Here is an excerpt from the article:

Burnout is one way that I can describe my post-election funk. I no longer curl up three inches away from the television with the volume down low, so as not to wake Mona or Jack, surfing between CNN and MSNBC, occasionally even clicking onto FOX when my blood pressure was able to handle it. And my heart rhythm is much more stable without the constant defibrillation of polls.

Read the rest of the article here.

America, Get Over Yourself

by Brian Frank

On the streets, online and in the broadcast media, Americans are proudly - and loudly - proclaiming that, last night’s election was an historic event that marks a turning point for our great country.

Yes, America is now filled with a new hope.  That is, unless you’re gay.

America is now filled with a new pride … unless you’re gay.

America is now filled with a new optimism … unless you’re gay.

Tuesday night heralded the start of a bright, new dawn for our nation and all its citizens … except the gay ones.  Because last night, Arizona banned gay marriage.  Florida has now banned both gay marriage and civil unions.  As of this writing, California appears to have not only banned gay marriage but removed the right of marriage from gay couples who were already married.  And Arkansas, where gay marriage is already illegal, has now banned gays not only from adopting but also from fostering children.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to see the end of the Bush Administration and its policies.  The Congress is now in Democratic hands as well, as well as the Senate in my home state of New York.  And I’m just as pleased to see that states like Virginia have finally gone from Red to Blue, finally remembering what it really means to be Americans (here in New England we never forgot).  This truly does promise to be a new era for our country.

And there’s no question that last night was a triumph for civil rights, a fact that affects me personally.  Because of my dark skin and coloring, I’ve been treated as a person of color my entire life.  The word “mulatto” has been whispered behind my back since boyhood, and I’m one of the few white people ever to have been called the “N-word” to my face (and if you don’t see how that’s possible for someone who’s not African-American, well, you’ve obviously never lived in Ohio).  Not to mention that my family is transracial, since my partner and I are raising an African-American son.

So there’s no doubt that the election of a biracial American president is a huge step forward for people like me and my family, and for civil rights in this country.  Except that, once again, “civil rights” don’t apply to you if you’re gay or even if - like my son - you’re straight but your family happens to be gay.  Maybe now we finally have an America where, in the words of the great Martin Luther King, Jr., “my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”  I certainly hope so.

But it’s still an America where my child is judged and condemned, not because of the content of his character, but because his fathers love him and each other.

America, you took a great leap forward last night.  But stop patting yourself on the back.  Because while gay families and our children are still treated as second-class citizens, the promise of “liberty and justice for all” is still an empty one.  You’ve got a long way to go.

No on 8 Video

Check out the latest from the Vote No on Prop 8 Campaign in California.

Watch our 30 second video that talks about what Prop 8 really is about: what kind of world we want each person and our children to live in—one that is free from discrimination and intolerance.

It’s going to take everyone we know—and everyone they know—to defeat Prop. 8. Easily email everyone you know—your family and friends. Tell them why defeating Prop 8 is so important.

Five Reasons Why the Opponents of Gay Marriage Will Ultimately Fail

by Brian Frank

In the midst of the current political debate about Proposition 8, advocates of gay marriage should keep one thought uppermost in their minds.  Regardless of the outcome of Proposition 8 – or any anti-gay-marriage initiative – victory will ultimately belong to gay marriage and its supporters.  The opponents of gay marriage will not, and cannot, win in the end.  Why?  Because of these five simple facts:

1. Get Real: Opponents of gay marriage aren’t truly opposed to the legalization of gay marriage, what they are actually opposed to is the existence of gay marriage.  Their idea is that if they don’t acknowledge long-term, committed gay relationships, then somehow our relationships will magically cease to exist.  They’re like my five-year-old, who is very upset about gravity right now.  He doesn’t want there to be any gravity, because he likes to build tall stacks of blocks and they wouldn’t fall down if only there were no gravity.  Get real.  Gravity isn’t going to go away just because my five year old doesn’t like it, and committed long-term gay relationships aren’t going to go away just because opponents of gay marriage don’t like them.  Even passing a law against them isn’t going to erase the reality of our relationships, any more than passing a law can make the value of pi equal to three.

2. It Will Never, Ever Be Over: What do the opponents of gay marriage honestly think is going to happen?  Do they think that gay people will somehow just give up demanding that we be accorded fair and equal treatment for our families?  What would they do if they were in our situation?  “Well, Martha, a state amendment passed that says marriage shouldn’t be between a man and a woman, so I guess we have no choice.  Let’s sell the house and the car – the kids? Oh, we’ll just give them to social services.  I guess it’s time to go our separate ways.  How about we just shake on it, okay? I don’t think a kiss would be appropriate.”  I don’t think so.  Straight people would fight.  They would fight for their marriages, they would fight for their children, and they would fight for their families.  And they would never, ever, stop fighting.  Do any of them honestly think that we’ll do any less?

Think I sound militant about this?  Hardly.  I’m an assimilationist who counts straight people among his best friends and refuses to live in a gay ghetto.  I also didn’t come out until I was almost thirty, and carry with me the kind of internalized homophobia that is ubiquitous among gay people of my generation.  My efforts to stand up for myself as a gay man – politically and otherwise – have always been hampered by that burden of shame.  But teenagers today are taking their boyfriends to the prom and pledging fraternities as openly gay men.  When the young gay men and women of Generation Q reach marriage age, how much tolerance do you think they will have for being treated like second-class citizens?

And what of the gay children who are even now being raised in our families, the Second Generation? There’s never been an entire generation of gay people – millions of gay people – raised safe and free inside gay families that will never reject them and that will teach them Pride in who they are.  Not to mention our straight children – millions more of them than our gay kids – who are growing up Erotically Straight but Culturally Queer.  Just how do you think a generation of straight people raised by gay families will feel about gay marriage?

I’m just the tip of the iceberg, a man who was raised to expect and to tolerate injustice as a gay person.  But the millions of people who are coming after me are not growing up cowed and they will not stand for anything less than full equality.  No matter the fate of Proposition 8 or any other anti-gay-marriage initiatives to come, the battle isn’t over.  It will never be over.  Far from it; this war hasn’t even begun.

3. Welcome to the High Ground: Yet even someone who was raised to feel ashamed of himself because he was gay can reach the point where he’s had enough.  I’m tired of being told that my family is somehow wrong, and that I can be morally judged by others, simply because of my sexual orientation.  Even a convicted murderer is guaranteed the right to marry if he is straight, yet I am denied that right because I am gay.  When is it my turn to judge; when is it my turn to be morally superior?  My partner and I have been together for over seventeen years.  We own our home, mow our lawn, and pay our taxes.  We’ve been foster parents to four children, and are now raising a son that we adopted from foster care.  We both work for the government.  I’ve never used any illegal drug, not even marijuana.  I am a law abiding citizen, and in the seventeen years that I’ve been with my partner I haven’t even gotten a single speeding ticket.  I’ve signed my organ donor card.  We even go to church on Sundays.  I live an upstanding and ethical life.  So when do I get to be good enough to be the one to pass moral judgments in this debate?  I’d say right about now.

For just one example, let’s take one of the most outspoken opponents of gay marriage: Newt Gingrich, a prime architect of the Defense of Marriage Act.  Mr. Gingrich claims to be morally superior and to stand in judgment of me and my family.  Well, I’m afraid that shoe is on the wrong foot.  Do I instead claim to be morally superior to him?  You’re damn right I do. How dare he presume to judge my marriage?  This is a man who has been divorced twice and is now on his third marriage.  He even pressed his first wife to sign divorce papers while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery.  Mr. Gingrich is nothing more than a political opportunist of contemptible morals, not a paragon of virtue.  I should be the one demanding that his marriage be outlawed, not the other way around.

4. America: Love it or Leave It: Opponents of gay marriage have dared to propose an amendment to the United States Constitution to outlaw gay marriage, just as Proposition 8 is now intended to amend the California Constitution. This shows nothing less than contempt for America itself, because it subverts the very intention of the U.S. Constitution by abusing a truly noble document for narrow and selfish political means.  The Constitution has never, ever, been used to deny rights to a select group of Americans.  On the one occasion when it was used to remove rights – during Prohibition – it treated all Americans equally, and even this misstep was later repealed.

Anyone who has no respect for the Constitution has no respect for America.  Because the Constitution – more than anything else about our nation– is what makes America great.  It’s what makes us who we are.  The Constitution is what gave us a stable government of free citizens, the first in the world.  Lacking respect for the Constitution, attempting to use it for partisan, parochial ends rather than for the manner it was intended – to extend and guarantee the rights of a free society to all citizens – is far worse than thumbing your nose at the flag.

The names of my grandparents are inscribed at the Ellis Island Memorial, and I am proud to call myself a third-generation American citizen.  I believe deeply in the ideals of America, “with liberty and justice for all.” And anyone who doesn’t uphold these ideals – embodied in the Constitution -  doesn’t deserve to call themselves an American.  True patriotism means putting the ideals of America first, even over your own personal discomforts or political disagreements, and the supporters of gay marriage like me are the real American Patriots.  Because we are the ones who truly believe in liberty and justice for all Americans – yes, even straight people. And anyone who doesn’t want to live in an America like that can get the hell out of my country.

5.  We All Know They’re Perverts, And So Do They: What is it – what, exactly, is it – that is “immoral” and “unnatural” about gay marriage?  Is it how we mow our lawns? Is it how we pay our taxes?  Is it the way we drive our kids to school?  Opponents of gay marriage use vague terms like “unnatural” because they are too full of moral cowardice and dishonesty to speak the truth.  What is it that upsets them about our families?  One thing and one thing only: how we have sex.  They don’t truly care about how we treat our spouses, our children, our relatives, our neighbors, or all of the other things that really define us as families, because they are too busy thinking about how we have sex.  They are so fixated on our sex lives that they can’t see any other aspect of who we are as families, so consumed with how we have sex that they feel driven to enact legislation about it in the guise of “defending” their own marriages.

I have to pay more for health care for my family, pay more for childcare expenses, chance losing custody of my son if I travel into the wrong state, and risk a thousand other threats to my family … all because some sicko can’t stop obsessing over my genitals?  That such behavior should occur in the civil domain is nothing less than disgusting and perverted behavior, and it deserves to be called exactly what it is.  The next time you hear anyone speak in opposition to gay marriage, take every word that comes out of their mouth and replace it with “penis, penis, penis” or “vagina, vagina, vagina” because that is exactly what they are really thinking.  We all know it and so do they; and sooner or later we’re all going to have to admit the truth of what’s really; going on here. Opponents of gay marriage should be ashamed of themselves; they are the real perverts here.

So to all the opponents of Proposition 8 and to the supporters of gay marriage – gay and straight alike – I say, take heart and do not be daunted no matter what happens on this Election Day.  Our opponents are spoiled little children unwilling to deal with reality, but we know the unassailable truth of our love.  Our opponents are smugly overconfident, but we are growing in numbers and our determination will not be denied.  Our opponents are morally reprehensible, but now it is our turn to sit in judgment of them.  Our opponents have spit in the face of the Constitution and all that makes America great, but we are the true patriots.  And our opponents are perverts who have dragged their personal obsessions with our sex lives into political affairs, while we seek only full civil equality for our families and our children.

They will fail and we will triumph.  Because in this fight it is we who are the righteous ones, and it is our righteousness that will - inevitably - prevail.

See all the contributed posts for Write to Marry Day at Mombian.

UPDATE: Check out the third commentator below for a whole list of arguments against same-sex marriage. Our very first negative comment.  I’m tempted to post his email, but I’m sure that would get me in trouble.  If anyone wants, use the contact page in the menu above to email me.

Next Page »