America, Get Over Yourself
November 5, 2008 by Green Dads
by Brian Frank
On the streets, online and in the broadcast media, Americans are proudly – and loudly – proclaiming that, last night’s election was an historic event that marks a turning point for our great country.
Yes, America is now filled with a new hope. That is, unless you’re gay.
America is now filled with a new pride … unless you’re gay.
America is now filled with a new optimism … unless you’re gay.
Tuesday night heralded the start of a bright, new dawn for our nation and all its citizens … except the gay ones. Because last night, Arizona banned gay marriage. Florida has now banned both gay marriage and civil unions. As of this writing, California appears to have not only banned gay marriage but removed the right of marriage from gay couples who were already married. And Arkansas, where gay marriage is already illegal, has now banned gays not only from adopting but also from fostering children.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to see the end of the Bush Administration and its policies. The Congress is now in Democratic hands as well, as well as the Senate in my home state of New York. And I’m just as pleased to see that states like Virginia have finally gone from Red to Blue, finally remembering what it really means to be Americans (here in New England we never forgot). This truly does promise to be a new era for our country.
And there’s no question that last night was a triumph for civil rights, a fact that affects me personally. Because of my dark skin and coloring, I’ve been treated as a person of color my entire life. The word “mulatto” has been whispered behind my back since boyhood, and I’m one of the few white people ever to have been called the “N-word” to my face (and if you don’t see how that’s possible for someone who’s not African-American, well, you’ve obviously never lived in Ohio). Not to mention that my family is transracial, since my partner and I are raising an African-American son.
So there’s no doubt that the election of a biracial American president is a huge step forward for people like me and my family, and for civil rights in this country. Except that, once again, “civil rights” don’t apply to you if you’re gay or even if – like my son – you’re straight but your family happens to be gay. Maybe now we finally have an America where, in the words of the great Martin Luther King, Jr., “my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” I certainly hope so.
But it’s still an America where my child is judged and condemned, not because of the content of his character, but because his fathers love him and each other.
America, you took a great leap forward last night. But stop patting yourself on the back. Because while gay families and our children are still treated as second-class citizens, the promise of “liberty and justice for all” is still an empty one. You’ve got a long way to go.
Related posts:
- Five Reasons Why the Opponents of Gay Marriage Will Ultimately Fail
- Green Dads Top Ten Ideas For Change In America
- Same-Sex Marriage Ban Overturned In Connecticut
- Friday Family Roundup (11/14/08)
- Winners of Ideas For Change in America Announced
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Wow. I couldn’t have said it any better.
Preston’s last blog post..My Daughter Was Harrassed At Work by the Owner’s Wife Because She Voted for Obama
You’re absolutely right–but I also have to wonder how much Obama’s message of inclusiveness will “trickle down” over the next four (eight?) years. I never was a fan of “trickle-down” economics, but maybe it’s more effective in this arena. Here’s hoping.
Dana’s last blog post..Marriage and Parenthood: A Talk with Nancy Polikoff
We can only hope, that’s part of why we voted for Obama.
I feel the same way. But I can only look at it as baby steps. We have a pro-gay president. Let’s hope his views will aid us in the fight for our rights.
colaboy29’s last blog post..Happy Last Night – Muted This Morning
We surely do have a long way to go, but I see so much hope when I look at all the young faces cheering for Obama in those crowds. I really , really believe we’ll overturn all of this hateful nonsense. It may take another ten or twenty years, but we’ll get there. One day our kids will be like – “I can’t believe gay people didn’t always have the right to get married?!” We’ll get there.
Karen’s last blog post..November 4th
Yes, we think the young people today are going to change everything.
If you’ve ever gone to a Family Week event in Ptown and watched the kids of several hundred GLBT families that are attending, then you will know there is hope for our future.
Very well said. (Popping in from Preston’s blog – he linked to this post.)
Oh, how I hope that someday, everyone will realize that WE ALL are equal and we ALL deserve equal rights. I also really hope it doesn’t take too long. 40+ years seems like an awfully long time to get to the point we reached on Tuesday night…
Heather’s last blog post..Walking on Sunshine
Teresa twittered that she kept hearing the song the “Morning After” from the Poseidon Adventure in her head after all of the anti-gay votes came in.
Joe G.’s last blog post..bored beyond belief #37 – Tired of the elections so talk to me
Let’s fight back. Let’s boycott California wines, produce and travel. Let’s publicize it. Let’s embarrass them. It worked a few years ago in Colorado. What do say?
Ok, so I am here in California and I am more than embarrassed to be from here right now. But just in case all our gay friends in the rest of the country are wondering, we are not done. Our forefathers did not rest until they reached these shores and found relief from their religious persecution. It took women years and years to get the right to vote. But they did. Eventually, they did. And Blacks have fought and fought, and now look how their fight has turned out. Not too shabby.
The Gay community will have their day too. I know it. In the meantime I promise to do the one thing that I can for the Gay community, and that’s raise my own children to accept, respect, and love everyone. I will not raise my children to be ignorant or bigoted. And I will not accept laws that teach them otherwise.
Fear Not America, California has not finished this conversation. Not by a long shot.
Hey, I just gave you the Superior Scribble Award. Check it out at my blog!
Dear Greendads, Hi! Just started to read your blog. As you can see by the the title of my blog, I am that dreaded “conservative”! Please don’t tune me out for I am taking a big fat leap of faith in writing to you. God bless you and your family. Anyone who freely welcomes a child into their home has a special place in heaven. Maybe you can shed some light on the dilemma that I face. I am a devoted Catholic and truly believe that Christ died for our sins so that we may enjoy heaven forever. If you ask me, I believe that heaven is going to be a major blast. My church and my God forbids me to discriminate against my fellow man. I am to love my neighbor as myself. Let it be known to you that if you lived in my neighborhood my kids would certainly play with your son and I would extend my hand in friendship to you. Now comes the hard part. I don’t believe in gay marriage. That was so difficult for me to type because I truly do NOT want to offend you. The Bible has designed marriage as the coming together of one man and one woman to create one, as Christ regards the Church as his bride. My fear is that if gay marriage is legalized, will my Church be forced to abandon her beliefs? Am I making any sense? Sometimes I ramble on a bit. Peace to you and yours. Thanks for taking the time to read my post! Aver
No, it doesn’t make sense. Because this is America and not everyone who is American is Catholic or even Christian. Your religious beliefs are not ours and therefore have no bearing on our lives, and you shouldn’t impose them on those who do not believe as you do. We are not Christian, but we are American citizens, we pay our taxes, own our home, work our jobs and we live by the laws of this country, not by the Bible. This is the real face of what it means to be American and those who would make it a theocracy cannot win.
Hi! Thank you for responding so quickly. I don’t think that I was clear in my first post so I will try to do better this time around. If gay marriage is legalized, do you think that my church will have to abandon its belief that marriage should only be between a man and a woman? I guess what I am afraid of is that the government will try to tell my church that it can no longer preach the above. Will government try to change theology? Having asked that question, I need to tell you that my aunt, who is my godmother, and her wife are very active in their Catholic church. However, they were wed in a Protestant church because gay marriage is not recognized by the Catholic church. Thanks for your time… Aver
The government has no place in any church and no laws about civil marriage have any bearing on what happens inside churches. That goes the other way too. No church has any place in government and any church that believes it does should be stripped of it’s tax exempt status.
This is where I think the Mormon church went too far in California. When they use their money and influence to make a mockery of the California Constitution and the US Constitution, then they should have to pay taxes.
All marriages should be civil marriages, separate from what any church does. Marriage itself did not begin with the church, it began as a civil arrangement and property contract.
And as long as we don’t have full rights as citizens of this country then maybe we should not have to pay taxes. Maybe, we should start talking about a new “Boston Tea Party” and no taxation without representation.
This post brought tears to my eyes. I went from extreme elation on the night of the election when Obama won and the eight year nightmare could be over, to heartbreak the next morning when I heard that prop 8 had passed.
I just wish people would come to realize that when they vote in a way that forces the church into the state, they are opening the door to forcing the state into the church. If people are concerned, as aver is, of the state forbidding churches to preach certain ways, then they should vote against anything that pushes church beliefs onto the general citizenry. These two things go hand in hand, and that is why we have separation of church and state.
In some countries, there are two ceremonies for many marriages, the legal one and the church one. Those who don’t want the church wedding simply get the legal one. But the church marriage is not legal without the civil ceremony as well. This is how I feel it should be in our country, too. A church ceremony should be something that those who are religious can get in addition to the legal marriage that everyone can have.
And as far as fears of what would happen if gay marriage were legal, we need only look north. In Canada, ministers are not fired for refusing to marry a gay couple, or any couple they don’t feel personally should be married. Kids are not “taught to be gay” in Canada.
I really hope this is overturned soon. I hope that by the time your child is an adult, his parents can be legally married in every state in this country.
dewey’s last blog post..The Uncommon Reader by Alan Bennett
Thank you for the kind words Dewey.
Eloquence, thy name is Green Dads.
GDad’s last blog post..Happy Veterans’ Day
Hi Greendads! Just watched Keith Olberman’s commentary about Prop 8. Although I am not a fan of his, this particular piece made me pause…and think. Please keep me in your prayers as I struggle with this issue. Thank you for putting up with my questions. Aver
aver, thanks for trying to be respectful. The straightforward (no pun), if delayed, answer to your question, if you haven’t already found out, is no. No churches will be forced to marry gay couples. No ministers will be jailed for speaking out against gays (although IMO they will be jerks), no one is going to spot “pro-gay propoganda” in schools. None of that would have happened. What would have happened had Prop 8 failed? …Gay couples would have been allowed to marry. It would have been a big step for us to being equal under the law. That’s all.
I understand a lot of religious people have trouble with us and who we love, but as I understand it, your god’s pretty big on that whole ‘free will’ thing. Your church, and you, don’t have to approve or understand, but the idea of someone who’s never met me getting to decide a major part of my life… is so unfair and unjust I can’t express it.
I hope you do continue to think about this issue, aver.
Lemur’s last blog post..My Letter to Obama